This is the perfect opportunity to choose to check in
The past 3 days have felt like a blur to me.
So much information, so many changes, and some big decisions to make in such a short period of time.
I found myself constantly asking the question, “what does this all mean? what’s true and real? how serious is the impact? and for how long?”
After we decided to close the doors at hustl last night I felt things finally land a bit.
I’ve always believed that living in indecision is one of the worst places to spin, and this situation was no different. So closing felt like some needed direction.
I felt lighter after knowing that we made a decision.
BUT
This morning when I woke up I felt lost - not knowing where to focus my time and energy and naturally watched myself cling to things like social media or searching for the next update. I felt “checked out”
When lunch came around I gave myself permission to turn off all of the news updates and social media posts to have a quiet hour to think and reflect (AND WOW what a grounding useful hour) and to “check in”.
Giving myself time to process, collect my thoughts, and recognize my feelings helped me know what was needed. I was also able to see for the first time in days what was true and real. My perspectives shifted after having a moment to breathe: (I’m sharing because it might spark something inside of you, maybe a new way to look at the situation, inspire you, or let you know you aren’t alone)
For months now I’ve been saying to Dan “I just wish the world could slow down for a week or two” and now here it is . . . the thing that I had been wishing for. I think this is the perfect gift for all of the busy bees in the world including me . . . maybe this is exactly the permission I needed to opt out of “doing” and slow down. I’m seeing that this is the perfect time to choose to go inwards and recharge my own energy well. I noticed this morning that I was trying to find any distraction to NOT slow down and it wasn’t until I actually gave myself permission to use this time to do exactly that that I felt a sigh of relief. Me choosing to recharge now is simply refilling a well that has been running on close to empty for a long time. I think it’s also important to share that slowing down looks different for everyone so I ask you “what does slowing down look like to you?” (feel free to share in the comments if you choose)
I’m choosing to be excited to bask in my own company. With a constant stream of meetings, to do list items, messages to get back to, and timelines to remember I often push aside some time to take myself on a little personal hang out. I will easily put aside my own company in exchange for being with others but not this week! I’m going to use this time to reconnect with my own soul and the things that fill me up (without relying on others to give me connection + love) - because there is no deeper love than the kind I can give to myself. Before I met Dan I spent two years dating myself and I can tell you that was the most empowered, motivated, loving, and connected I’ve ever felt because I loved myself which meant that the judgements and needs of others had much less weight on how I lived my life.
While I was doing my lunchtime reflection I made a list of all of the things that I told myself I didn’t have time for . . . all of the things I’ve wanted to do for so long but were never priorities. This list got me stoked for the new ways (outside of my regular routine) that I would choose to spend my time. This might be a good time to come back to the things you’ve pushed off for far too long.
The world DOES NOT have to stop. This time is asking us to get creative with ways to participate and engage with life. There can always be an excuse for me to fail ahead of time on my dreams; without even attempting them. I want to take this time to check in with my dreams and then think about the steps I can take to make them happen. I know that if I’m truly committed I’ll find a way. And for sure there will be thoughts that drift in with excuses; my brain is masterful at finding the reasons “why not”. I can choose to notice the excuses and continue to move through.
I know that everything comes in waves. I know I’ll have moments where everything feels like a total flop and where I feel defeated and alone and lost . . . and that’s ok. I will begin again, get back on the wagon and keep trekking along.
Lastly, never in my lifetime have I ever experienced such community. It’s been beautiful to see communities stepping up to do their part, to support one another, to uplift one another, to offer their gifts to others. It’s absolutely beautiful. The word “community” has more meaning to me now than it ever has. I’ve had so many moment of gratitude for the communities I’m a part of. I’ve felt humbled by the generosity and kindness that is all around.
So that all of you can be my accountability buddies some ways in which I’m choosing to spend my days are as follows:
I’m cutting it with the social media - and using this time and energy to create action and clarity (it almost makes me puke how much time I’ve spent on my phone in the past couple of days)
I’m going to make sourdough!
I’m going to sprout things!
I’m going to nurture and nest my home
I’m going to send snail mail to the ones I love
I’m going to write and reflect
I’m going to do headstands and play around
I’m going to rest
Maybe this crisis is the medicine we need to shift our focus.
Maybe just maybe this is the wake up call we’ve needed as a collective to step up.
Maybe we needed to be reminded of what humanity means.
Maybe we’re meant to sit with loneliness for the sake of learning about who we are.
Maybe just maybe we’ll remember that life is precious and that we aren’t invincible.
Maybe this is the perfect time to come home to yourself. . . . if you choose to see it that way.
I’d love to hear your story. I’d love to hear where you’re at and what you’re struggling with.
If you need someone to connect with, process with, hold space, give you a roll of toilet paper . . . I’d be honored and grateful that you reached out. You aren’t in this alone.
Be well,
A